Creating Standards as You Go and a Moment of Mirth

The Georgia Carnival is flying high once again over at Georgia on My Mind. Check out the first entry over there…..my young friend Ethan is upset that Georgia Educrats had all summer to tweak his grade level’s math standards yet the new school year finds him with unfinished standards and no textbook. Grrr……I have to ask...what did they do for 8 weeks? Math doesn't change that much? They couldn't get a simple set of grade level standards in place over an 8 week period? There is a bright ray of sunshine for Ethan….he has a teacher with some real credentials....it's just a shame that it's now getting to the middle of September and the teacher doesn't really know what he should be teaching in October.

And now for some weekend mirth (and boy do I need some.....):

It seems everyday we have more and more reasons to bemoan educational progress therefore a little humor goes along way. Several days ago I received the following in an email from my cousin. She said she thought me when she read it and I can understand why…….true the story involves a school setting, but the title and the subject matter also involves me since I had my youngest child at home in the presence of three midwives.

….and before you ask…..yes, it was a planned birth. :)

Now, on to a bit of mirth titled Middle Wife which is apparently the product of a 2nd grade teacher somewhere in the United States:

I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself,
but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second-grade classroom a few years back.

When I was a kid, I loved Show-and-Tell. So I always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and usually, Show-and-Tell is pretty tame, Kids bring in pet turtles, model Airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that.

And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it in to school and talk about it, they're welcome.

Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater.

She holds up a snapshot of an infant. 'This is Luke, my baby brother, And I'm going to tell you about his birthday.'

'First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord.'

She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in amazement!

'Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going, 'Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!' Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. 'She walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!' Now this kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.

'My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this.' Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall.

'And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!' This kid has her legs spread with her little hands miming water flowing away. It was too much!

'Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe, breathe! They started counting, but never even got past ten.

Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it was from Mom's play-center, so there must be A LOT of toys inside there.'

Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat. I'm sure I applauded the loudest.

Ever since then, when it's Show-and-Tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another 'Middle Wife' comes along.

Reforming Education

The following video is from the British television show Prime Minister. Depending on the side you’re on regarding education reform the video speaks volumes regarding the beauracracy of education and how insane it is.

How do I know the video speaks volumes? Well, I’ve sat in on meetings where I’ve heard some of the same comments. Say what you want to regarding the high level of poor parenting today, but parents are still the parents and should be able to make decisions regarding the education of their children.

Yes, the clip is a bit long, but it’s worth a laugh…..or cry.

Monday Mirth: Oh, If We Only Could...

A friend of mine forwarded the following to me via email. This has apparently been around the email block a few times and there is a story behind it…..Educators can certainly understand why this would be a “dream message” to place on the school answering machine, but it didn’t really happen. You can read the whole story over at Snopes.com.

Here is the message that the Pacific Palisades High School California staff voted unanimously to record on their school telephone answering machine.

This is the actual answering machine message for the school. This came about because they implemented a policy requiring students and parents to be responsible for their children's absences and missing homework.

The school and teachers are being sued by parents who want their children's failing grades changed to passing grades - even though those children were absent 15-30 times during the semester and did not complete enough school work to pass their classes.

The outgoing message:

Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your school. In order to assist you in connecting to the right staff member, please listen to all the options before making a selection:

To lie about why your child is absent - Press 1

To make excuses for why your child did not do his work -Press 2

To complain about what we do - Press 3

To swear at staff members - Press 4

To ask why you didn't get information that was already enclosed in your newsletter and several flyers mailed to you - Press 5

If you want us to raise your child - Press 6

If you want to reach out and touch, slap or hit someone - Press 7

To request another teacher, for the third time this year - Press 8

To complain about bus transportation - Press 9

To complain about school lunches - Press 0

If you realize this is the real world and your child must be accountable and responsible for his/her own behavior, class work, homework and that it's not the teachers' fault for your child's lack of effort: Hang up and have a nice day!